So I went from joy to sadness in the matter of hours. I am joyful that my house is sold and that I will soon have my portion of the equity out of it. But the reality of what it means when the house that I picked out to live in for what I thought would be years now belongs to someone else hurts. It hurts to think that someone else will be enjoying the front balcony off of the bedroom at night. That someone else will be cooking in the kitchen maybe while someone else watches them. That someone else may be making plans to paint over the walls that I worked so hard to paint. That someone else will be filling it with love.
It is also a sign that the legal and official end of my marriage is very near. It won't be long now until I sign the final documents that will basically end my relationship with my best friend for the past 11 years. It won't be long now until my new life legally gets to start.
And it is now that the reality of it all starts to hit. So even though today is a good day, it is also a sad night. I am going to sit here and cry and put the living, laughing and loving on hold for the evening and allow myself to grieve.
*hug* It may take a while to grieve honey. Good days and bad days. They say that it can take the brain 1 year to understand a loss, and your loss isn't finished yet. Know that your friends are always there for you, and don't be afraid to use resources like your therapist, and your church in the coming months too. You're very strong.
ReplyDelete