Trip to the Social Security Office

I took the afternoon off and took a trip to the Social Security Office in Raleigh. I was expecting to have to camp out there for the afternoon, but was actually very lucky. I was in and out in less then 15 minutes with a receipt in my hand stating that my name is now legally changed and I should receive my new social security card in the mail in about 2 weeks.

Next visit will be to the DMV office to change my license. But per the very nice lady in the Social Security office, she said that I should wait at least 2 days before trying the DMV since it takes that long for it to show up in the system.

So since I had taken the afternoon off just to handle these tasks, I then found myself with lots of free time. So I stopped at Trader Joe's on the way home because it was just a mile from the Social Security office. I picked up some 2 Buck Chuck and a few other items.

So I now what to do on this cold and rainy afternoon. I think I may hit the fitness center or take a nap, or maybe both.

Visit #1 to Construction Site

An exciting site to see when I pulled up to look at my town home today!!!

To view the other pictures that I took today click here: Construction Photo Album

60 Days to Home Ownership

So what does one do when their divorce is final and the settlement amount has been deposited? You sign a contract on a town home!!!! And that is actually what I did today. I spent the weekend talking with lenders and filling out mortgage applications and was pre-approved for a mortgage today.

I have been looking at various houses and town homes for several weeks now and decided on the town home lifestyle. I like the idea of no exterior maintenance including the yard but still having the capability of owning something and doing with it what I please (at least to a certain extent). Plus I am so tired of paying rent every month with nothing to show for it. So I picked a brand new unit (it is actually still under construction) in a brand new development about 1.2 miles from my apartment. The development is called Brier Village. It is a neighborhood with 116 manors (houses attached only by storage units) and 43 town homes. For those of you who check out the website, my unit is the "Newton." It has 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 1 car garage, granite countertops, hardwood floors, and stainless steel gas appliances.

The neighborhood is adjacent to the Research Triangle Park and Brier Creek. So my commute to work will still be pretty short (10-12 minutes) and will be close to all of the shopping in Brier Creek. The builder is a local builder whose tag line is "Building Dreams that Last". Which I think is very fitting. I have been dreaming of the day when I can buy something that is all my own since being out on my own.

Below are pictures of the exterior of the unit that I took this evening.


Mine is the second one in from the left.

Close up of my unit. There will eventually be stonework where there isn't any siding.

I promise I will take more pictures over the next several days and weeks. I wasn't dressed to tromp through the mud but will be more prepared the next time I go out to visit my place.

Next step is to finish the loan application process and then I get to sit back and watch the completion of my new home. Construction should be done in mid-May and my closing date has been set for the last week of May. I will probably move in the first or second weekend of June.

This is totally a huge step in learning to live, laugh and love again.

Thoughtful Thursday -- The Power of One

Today at work, I watched the movie "The Power of One" with all of my co-workers in the claims department at The Redwoods Group. If you have never seen the movie, I highly recommend that you do.

The movie is a passionate story of a young English boy from South Africa and his desire to change the world. He grew up suffering under abuse and hatred as the only English boy in an Afrikaans school and was orphaned and placed in the care of a German national. The German national was then put in prison not long after the start of WWII and the young boy grows up spending time visiting the prison, befriending prisoners, and is taught how to box. After the war is over, he attends a private English school and continues to box and in the process meets a native and along with the help of a young women he meets, they fight against the ideals of apartheid to teach the natives English.

Along the way, he is beaten, bullied, abused, and loses loved ones but instead of giving up, he fought back and continued to seek out his goal of changing the world. He used his negative and positives influences to shape him as a person and turn him into a leader.

One line from the movie that we discussed as a group was:
"I remember my nanny would tell me, that if I listened to the wind, I would hear the voices of my past. I listened, and heard Doc talk about justice, I heard Geel Piet talk about hope, I heard Daboola Manzi, the odd medicine man, talk about courage. I heard Maria. These are the voice of my life, the voices of Africa. These are the voices I carry with me, as Duma and I set out, to bring our country closer to a better tomorrow. "

Our discussion focused on who in our past and present have had an impact or influence on our lives. It was neat to hear about all of the people in each of our lives that have influenced us. Mostly good, but there are times when those influences are negative.

I shared with the group that over the years I have had the opportunity to be influenced by teachers, parents, youth group advisors, peers and other family members. And that it was been amazing to see that in each stage of my life I can pinpoint someone or someones who have helped me the most.

However, I also shared that there are times when the people who we love, influence our lives in the most negative way. I shared that pain and suffering can come from the one that we love the most. However, that it is in times like this that you have to learn to then lean on those around you that influence you in a positive way and not dwell on the hatred and times that you have been beaten down. All you can do is love back the best that you can and then pick up the pieces and move forward.

Life experiences, love, and pain and suffering can really shape a person. I saw that in the movie, and I now see it in my own life.

I can see now that the pain that I have endured over the past year has shaped me and influenced me for the best. It has developed me into a much stronger person and taught me that life has a lot more then pain to offer. I have learned a lot about love and learning from life and those around you. It is important to surround yourselves with people who can influence you in a positive way. It is also important to think about how YOU are influencing others.

Another line from the movie that sticks out in my mind is:
"Little beat big when little smart. First with the head, then with the heart."

My dream for myself as well as each of you is that as we all continue to learn to live, laugh and love that we do it with not only our heads, but with our hearts.

New Haircut and a Splash of Color

I have found a great way to give myself a huge boast in self confidence and get ready for spring and an upcoming vacation........ Get a drastic hair cut and have a little splash of color thrown in.

Okay, so maybe getting 2 inches cut off of your hair isn't exactly drastic, but it is for me. I have kept my hair the same length for years now. So any amount off then the usual trim and thinning is a big deal for me. To top it all off, the stylist put in some blonde highlights. She wanted to go shorter and more blonde, but I tamed her a little bit so that I could get used to the idea. Who knows what she will be able to talk me into when I go back in 6 weeks.

So cheers to Jessica at Generations Salon and Day Spa for helping brighten my day (and hair).

Insurance HELL Week is Over

For people in the insurance industry in North Carolina, the week of Pre-licensing class is nicknamed "HELL" week. Before any person who wants to be an insurance agent or adjuster can legally work in the state of North Carolina you have to be licensed. In order to be licensed you have to take a class, pass the class and then pass the state exam. A condition of my employment at The Redwoods Group was that I get licensed to be an adjuster in North Carolina.

So this week I attended a 40 hour class at the Independent Insurance Agents of North Carolina office in Cary. I had to attend and pass the class in order to sit for the North Carolina Insurance Adjuster's exam.

The class and test were not necessarily hard, but it was just a lot of information to learn. I had to learn about all lines (types) of insurance (personal and business auto, homeowners, dwelling, commercial property, and liability, etc). However, the hard part for me is that at work I only have to deal with commercial policies, so the majority of the information that I had to learn, I will never use in my career at Redwoods. So I did a lot of memorizing in order to get through the week. But my hard work was rewarded and I earned a passing score on the exam yesterday.

Thanks for all of your encouragement this week and congrats yesterday. Now that I have taken care of my obligations for learning for work, I can now turn my focus on learning how to live, laugh and love again in my life.

Thoughtful Thursday

"Insurance is a social device of protecting persons and businesses against certain types of loss by transferring the risk of loss from the individual persons or businesses to a group. It involves pooling a large number of risks, and the sharing of the potential of loss."

- Page one of the Property and Casualty Pre-licensing Study Guide written by the IIANC

Sorry....only thoughts on the brain right now are about insurance.

One more day of class and then the NC State exam is Saturday at 12:30 pm.

Second Reality Check

Over the weekend I finally received the signed certified copies of the Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage. I picked up the envelope on Saturday from the mail box, but just opened it a few minutes ago. I knew what it contained, the dead give away from the return address. But for some reason, just opened it.

As I sit here and look at the pile on my lap....it makes me think back about what has all happened up to this point.

Over 9 years ago there was so my preparation that went into the start of what was just over 7 years of marriage. There were showers, dinners, a ceremony, a reception, pictures, flowers, pretty dresses, a band, dancing, a party and gifts.

But at the end, all that I had to do was open a white envelope that contained 3 copies of the same document while sitting in my pjs in my apartment and read. No ceremony, no conversation, no exchange of words, actually no human interaction at all.

Now, that's not to say that there wasn't plenty of "drama" or preparation that led up to the document actually being able to sit on my lap. There was yelling, screaming, crying, attorneys, packing, moving, etc...... But to actually signal the legal end, there is nothing but quiet.

Okay, so maybe a glass of wine to go along with the opening, but no party, no dancing, no pretty dress.

So, hence the reality check. But what is odd, there aren't any tears. I thought for sure when I started to open the envelope and read the document that I would start to cry. But I didn't. I just sat and pondered what it meant. And to be truthful the 2 pages mean closure and bring a huge wave of relief. The whole process is now over. I am legally divorced and now the written proof. I have cried a lot these last few months, but for the first time during this whole process, I have no desire to cry. I just want to move on.

I will need the document(s) to start the fun process of changing my name. First stop will be the social security office, then DMV, then the DMV tag office, the the bank, and then the State Department to change my passport and so on and so on. Luckily some of those stops can be down through the mail, hence needing multiple copies of the same document.

But as I sit at my desk and sip a glass a wine all I can do is breathe and I can more importantly, start to learn, laugh and love all over again.

Thoughtful Thursday

In honor of the ACC Tournament....

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."

- Geo Bernard Shaw


Here's to hoping that the Tarheels stay young and keep playing great basketball.

Offically a Tarheel Again

Well, I am officially and legally a resident of the Tarheel state again. I received both my North Carolina voter registration card and shiny NC driver's license in the mail today. Picture isn't too bad either, which is a plus. Bad thing is that I will have to get another new one soon. I didn't have the needed paperwork yet to allow the DMV to change my name, so I will have to go through that process again. But I have been told that the second time around, I won't have to spend 2 hours at the DMV office. Hopefully, I can handle that portion through the mail.

But I first have to wait on the much needed paperwork signed by the judge in Florida, which I should have sometime this week. My attorney picked it up on Friday and is sending it to me via the mail.

So until then, I am officially a Tarheel, but still legally a Reichow.

Thoughtful Thursday on Sunday

Since I had more important information to share with you on Thursday, I didn't share with you my thought for the week. So here it is:

"The next time you think you have an excuse why God can't use you, consider the following:

Noah was a drunkard, Abraham was too old, Isaac was a daydreamer, Jacob was a liar, Leah was ugly, Joseph was abused, Moses was a murderer, Gideon was afraid, Samson had long hair, Rahal was a prostitute, Timothy was too young, David had an illicit affair, Elijah was suicidal, Isaiah preached naked, Job was bankrupt, John the Baptist ran around in a loin cloth and ate locusts, Peter was hot-tempered, John was self-righteous. The disciples fell asleep while praying, Martha fretted about everything, Mary Magadalene was demon-possessed, the boy with the fish and five rolls of bread was too obscure, the Samaritan woman was divorced more than once, Zacchaeus was too small, Paul was too religious and Lazarus was dead.

No more excuses!"

-Author Unknown

It's Legally Over

This morning Jason had to stand in front of a judge in Orlando, Florida and ask for his marriage to be dissolved. I wasn't there to witness it and part of me is glad that I wasn't. However, there is a part of me that wishes that I could have been there, but since I didn't legally have to be there, I choose not to go.

I received word at about 10 this morning that the hearing went smoothly and that the judge had signed off on the agreement. I will receive certified copies of the Final Judgment sometime next week. So as of this morning, I am now legally divorced. And that chapter of my life is finally over.

I am grateful for so many of you that have been by my side both physically and emotionally these last few months. You have encouraged me, prayed for me, sent me cards and emails, taken me out, and just listened. I could not have gotten to the place where I am today without you. So thank you.

I am especially grateful for the 3 women at the office today who sat with me and cried when I got the news. Two of them even went out at lunch and got me this beautiful card and a big bag of M&M's (which I shared and no they are not all gone yet).

Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts these last few days and especially today. Today was tougher then I thought it would be.

I know that I still have a journey in front of me. I still have some grieving to do and I know that as time passes the grief will slowly go away. So please continue to pray for me and encourage and support me.

But most importantly, please live, laugh and love with me as I officially and legally start a new chapter in this book called life.

Judgement Day is Near

Yesterday I received notification that on Thursday, March 3rd at 8:30 am, Jason will appear before a judge in family court in Orlando, Florida. After Jason meets with the judge, our divorce will be legally over. I do not have to appear, only Jason and his attorney have to go to court.

At first it was surreal to receive the news. Then, I saw a copy of the actual notice, which made the whole thing more real. Then as usual reality set in.

So once again, last night, I sat in the middle of the floor of my apartment and cried. I just let it all out. With the help of several Kleenex's and two soft and cuddly cats, I let the emotions flow out of me. It felt good after I let it all out. And by allowing the emotions to escape, I was able to calm myself and attempt to sleep. I actually slept okay.

One thing that I have learned these past few months is that by letting the emotions out, I am able to function much better as a person and able to process what is going on.

It won't be long now until the whole legal matter is over and hopefully the nights of tears will be over as well.

Just one more step before I can legally learn to live, laugh and love all over again on my own.