I'm A Little Bit Country

So I have been on a country music kick lately.  Don’t ask me why.  I guess you can take the girl out of the small town but you can’t always take the small town out of the girl.  I mean I used to spend my Friday nights on a farm.  A dairy farm at that.  And before you ask, I promise that I never went cow tipping. 

The joys of Pandora is that it is easy to switch between genres.  And sometimes they blend it for me all by themselves.  If you were to look at my station list it would probably make you question by sanity.

But  I promise.  I am okay.  I just like a wide range of music.  It probably goes back to all of my years of dancing and band.  I mean, come on, I used to have a ballet teacher that would warm us up to Pink Floyd... and then Mozart would be playing next.   And then there was all of those years of Marching Band.  Everything from Styx to show tunes to classical to rock.  You name it, I have probably played it or danced to it. 

But anywho, I was listening to my “Sugerland” station on Pandora the other day at the office.  I like to listen to music at work when I really need to concentrate.  We have an open environment at work and even though we have a sound minimizing system installed, it is sometimes hard to tune out the conversations that are taking place close by. 

So I plug in my iPhone, turn on my Pandora and insert ear buds.  And I work on letters that need to be written or files that need to be reviewed.  I sit, I sing (to myself), I dance, I concentrate and sometimes I dance.    The other day, one of my co-workers caught me dancing in my chair.  Hey at least I made him laugh. 

But the point to all of this is that country music is... well its country music.  There is just something about it.  It probably helps that you can actually understand the words. 

I know that everyone has heard the joke about what you get when you play a country song backwards…..but for me it’s different.  Country music takes life experiences and puts them to music and it would be hard to find a song that isn’t about your current life situation.  And the other day I heard several in a row that summed up my life perfectly. 

Take for instance, Darius Rucker’s song “Alright”, he basically talks about what he is blessed to have in his life. And that he has all that he needs.

Then there is Rascal Flatts “What Hurts the Most” where they say “I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don’t bother me, I can take a few tears now and then and just let ‘em out, I am not afraid to cry every once in a while……”

And there is even Jason Aldean’s song “Laughed Until We Cried”

And then there is one of my favorites ---  Sugerland’s “Settlin’”….. “With some good red wine and my brand new shoes, gonna dance up a blue streak around my living room”.

Yep that’s me.  I am known to pour a glass and dance around my living room. 

Okay so you get the picture.  Music has always been a part of my life and right now my life is a county music song.  I guess the same point could be made with other genres of music too, but I am in a country music kind of mood right now so I am sticking to that.  

So I am going to keep jamming.  Dancing in my chair at work and then around my living room at nights and on the weekends.  I encourage everyone else to try it too.  It really is good for the soul.  Especially during the rough patches in your life.  

So with that, pour yourself a cold one and put on your favorite jeans and enjoy a little jam to Zac Brown Band’s Chicken Fried …

Feb 24th

It's another one of those milestone days.  A day that I can rewind a play over and over again in my head.  I know how it started and I know how it ended and then what happened in between.

It's a day where I sat and said, please just keep breathing.

And it's the day that I heard the words that I had been praying so hard to never have to hear.  But the words came.  And the tears flowed.  And my life was changed.

Today is the day, one year ago, that Heaven got my Mommy.

And the pain that has resurfaced time and time again these last few weeks is here again.

So as I start my day this morning with tears in my eyes, I also know that my mom is looking down on me and smiling.

I know that she is proud of me.  I know that she wants me to be happy.  I know that she wishes more then anything that she could wipe away the tears.

So as I get ready to walk out the door and go to work... I am going to try my best to put my big girl panties on, but I know that I am not going to do a good job of dealing with it today.

I love you Mommy.

That Place

Not many people remember where they were exactly one year ago.  But starting a few weeks ago, I can tell you exactly where I was a year ago.  And where and how I spent 5 weeks of my life.  My days and nights are actually captured on another website.  But even if I didn't have that site to look back on.  I can tell you where I was.

There are only two places where you could have found me, well maybe three for a day or so, but I did not stray far.  I spent a lot of time in a place where I have no desire to spend time again.

I am proud of myself because I did go back there for a day in October and that is a day I won't ever forget either.  But that was a happy day.  A birth day.

But it would be nice to forget about all of the other times that I spent there.

It seems just like yesterday.  I can still very clearly remember.  I have images burned in my memory.

I can clearly remember the doctors and all of the nurses.  I can remember the location of the rooms.  I can remember how long the elevator ride was.  I can even tell you what is on the room service menu.

I can you tell how I felt.  I can tell you how many times I fought back the tears.  I can tell you how many times I would wait for the stats.  I can still remember the sound of all of the machines.

And now I can tell you about the pain.  My pain.  It's been a year and the pain is still very real.  The tears still flow.  The dreams are still vivid.  The grief is still raw.  And it's been a year.

I have been trying really hard to move on.  I have been trying to focus on the present.  I have been trying to dream about the future.

But I still remember that place.

So today, even though my heart still aches, I know that Mom's pain is gone.  Mom is at peace.

So as I curl up with Hobbes in my favorite chair and drink my morning mocha, I will allow the tears to flow.  As I watch the rain fall and wash away all of the snow, I remember that God is here for me to help wash away the pain.

I Am A Princess

So I am sure that you have seen the quiz on Facebook --  Which Disney Princess are you?  Well I had seen it a few times so I finally clicked on the link and did the quiz and here is my result: 

Which Disney Princess Are You?

You are Belle. You are strong, deep, and you are not a slave to petty superficial things. You are independent and allow yourself to see inner beauty without sacrificing your values. You are almost too good of a person.

And I totally see the it.  I really am a lot like Belle.  I am a normal girl who doesn't mind the quiet and loves to curl up with a good book.  I always find the good in people and every girls loves with the dishes clean themselves.   What girl wouldn't love for the household items to cook, clean and entertain.  Remember, I am not afraid to admit that I can't cook and I hate to clean.      

Belle and I

Every girl dreams of being a princess.  Every girl dreams about the Beast turning into a handsome Prince.  Or Prince Charming coming to save them from the attic and place that glass slipper on your foot.  Or even Aladdin arriving on the magic carpet.   Or a boat ride with the fish singing to the Prince to kiss the girl.  I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.  

Every girls dreams about that one kiss that will change everything.  But have you ever wondered that in all of the Disney princess stories, why it is all about the kiss?  What's so special about a kiss.

Well, I don't know about you, but I remember the first time I kissed a boy.  Well, I guess he actually kissed me first.   And he didn't turn into a Prince and I didn't immediately get to live happily ever after. I mean come on, I was in preschool. 

Now don't get me wrong.  I didn't expect that boy to turn into a prince and I haven't expected any other boy since that time to turn into a Prince.  But I have always expected the boys (and later men) in my life to treat me like a princess.

Now that's doesn't mean that there hasn't been one or two or three along the way that haven't broken my heart.  A broken heart I think is a right of passage for a girl.  Every girl needs to have their heart broken.  At least once.   It's a way to learn.  It's a way to develop character.  It's a way to come to understand what it means to really love and to be loved.

So what does it mean to be treated like a princess?  It's not about lots of expensive presents, fancy dinners, exotic trips or huge houses.  What it means is respect, trust, a door to be held open, a nice home cooked meal (remember I don't cook), someone to watch my Tarheels play with, dates to church and promises kept.

So as my search for my prince starts again, I wonder what will happen the next time I get a kiss. I mean, Disney tells me that the magic is all in that first kiss. 

 

Things I Learned While Watching the Super Bowl

So last night was the Super Bowl and I watched the game.  Not so much because I care about either team, but because it is the one event that happens once a year that everyone seems to talk about the next day.  Whether it is something that occurs on the field or a commercial that airs when play is stopped.  And then there is always half time.  You never know when there may be another wardrobe malfunction.

So while I watched the game, I took note of a few things that I learned.

• That you can make a time machine out of cardboard boxes that is fueled by Doritos.
• That Chevy can make me laugh during one commercial and then cry during the second.
• That Maserati is an underdog.
• That 5-0 looks more like a baseball score then a football score 3/4 of the way through the first quarter of a football game.
• That Cheerios can help tell you that you are getting a baby brother but more importantly get you a puppy.
• Conformation that Radio Shack has been stuck in the 80's.  
• That even Peyton Manning, one of the most talented players in the NFL, can have a bad day.
• That there is a German engineer out there with angel wings because my VW Passat has over 100,000 miles on it.
• That Spiderman, Captain American and The Transformers are all going to save the world this year.
• That JACK BAUER is back.
• That the Muppets will always make me laugh, no matter how old I get.
• That GoldieBlox is awesome..... Not all girls want pink toys.  
• That Winter Park Florida is the bomb, not just because I used to hang out there and know that it is a really cool place, but because of the Bud commercial that made me cry.  All of our service members are heros and deserve a hero's welcome when they come home.
• That Honda is right, we all need to hug our friends, family and neighbors more often.
• Yes, I will gladly let Germany brew my beer, but right now, my car was made there too.  Maybe I will let my next one be built by America.
• Yes, we all know that Tim Tebow does not currently have a contract to play football.

and finally

• That I had to wait until 2 min left in the game to cry over the puppy and clydesdale commercial.  

However, the added bonus to watching the game........

Bruno Mars with an appearance by the Red Hot Chili Peppers ROCKED it during Halftime.  Good job NFL and Pepsi (even though I am a Coca-Cola girl).

So I had been hoping for a much better game, but the Broncos just couldn't get it done.  Congratulations to Russell Wilson.  I did cheer for him when he was at NC State and maybe its a good thing he choose football over baseball.

So now I am left to wonder if Peyton is going to hang up his cleats now.