Feb 24th

It's another one of those milestone days.  A day that I can rewind a play over and over again in my head.  I know how it started and I know how it ended and then what happened in between.

It's a day where I sat and said, please just keep breathing.

And it's the day that I heard the words that I had been praying so hard to never have to hear.  But the words came.  And the tears flowed.  And my life was changed.

Today is the day, one year ago, that Heaven got my Mommy.

And the pain that has resurfaced time and time again these last few weeks is here again.

So as I start my day this morning with tears in my eyes, I also know that my mom is looking down on me and smiling.

I know that she is proud of me.  I know that she wants me to be happy.  I know that she wishes more then anything that she could wipe away the tears.

So as I get ready to walk out the door and go to work... I am going to try my best to put my big girl panties on, but I know that I am not going to do a good job of dealing with it today.

I love you Mommy.