Confirmation

So I got some confirmation on Thursday night about Jason and why I think he left me that was a little unnerving.   A picture that was posted on the Internet confirmed for me what I knew in my heart to be true.   It confirmed for me that Jason was more then likely involved with someone else while we were still together and before we were even separated.   It confirmed that the girl that I was suspicious about and had expressed my concerns with him regarding their "relationship" was and is in fact the "other woman" in his life.

I think that the timing of this discovery was perfect.  Because even though it upset me, I was able to process and deal with it appropriately.  I will admit that I cried and got angry when I first saw the picture.   But I also allowed myself to grieve over the news.   I allowed myself to toss and turn in the bed that night.   I allowed myself to be mad at her.  I allowed myself to vent to my assistant about it at work the next day.  And most importantly, I allowed myself to be mad at Jason.  

Now, I will admit that it would have been nice to know about the relationship prior to finalizing the terms of my divorce but I can't do anything about that now.  

However, it helps to bring me closure.  It helps to confirm that it wasn't my fault.  (I did know before now that it wasn't my fault and I have already worked through the blame that I once placed on myself).  This was just a confirmation that there WAS a third person involved.  It helps me know that my intuition was right.   It helps me know that I made the right decision to move on.  It helps me know that even though it hurt and a divorce was not what I wanted, a divorce was what was needed.   I did not deserve Jason's lies, deceitfulness and unfaithfulness.    

For him to lie and be so adamant about denying the relationship and then to discover after all of this time that it was true is painful.   But at least now I know the truth.  And even though the truth hurts, at least I know.

 So on this one year anniversary of the start of my new life in North Carolina, I have a little peace.  I know the truth and now I can continue to put the past year and half of my life away and really start to heal.  I have the confirmation that Jason's unfaithfulness was the root to the end of our marriage and the start of my new life.   I can really start to learn how to live, laugh and love all over again.  

...Now who wants to go TP her house with me!!!!