What comes next....

So a few people have asked me what I plan to do next or what my next steps are going to be.   And right now all I can say is that I am taking it one day at a time.   I am not making any plans, I am not setting any goals, I am not focusing on the future.  I am just living the present.

I am going to use this time to think, to ponder, to talk through things.  It's a time for a fresh start.  A time to re-evaluate.  A time to reflect.  A time to re-direct my focus.   A time to get priorities in order.   A time to start over.   A time to figure out what I want.   A time to forgive and a time to ask for forgiveness.

So I may be a little quiet on the blog and/or Facebook for a while.   But I promise that I am okay.  

So as I sit on the back patio, enjoying a glass of wine, I can relax and think.   I can enjoy the quietness, the gentle breeze and the perfect temperature.  And I can figure out what it really means to learn how to live, laugh and love all over again.

Change

So why is change so hard?   Is it because we get into a routine?  Get comfortable?  Is it scary?  Is it a leap of faith? Is it full of doubt? Maybe worry? Too much uncertainity?

Who knows.  Maybe it's some of these reasons, maybe it is all of them.  But one thing I know that there are times when change is needed.   It can be a change in attitude, a change of behavior, a change in mindset, a physical change or even a change in relationships.

But one thing that I have learned this week is that change is hard.  It is hard to break the status quo.  It is hard to break the routine.  It is hard to say good bye.

We have been working on changes at work.  Our office is moving into a brand new space.  It is in the same building but the space has been renovated just for us.   Some people are excited.  Some are nervous. Some could care less.  All I know that I am ready for a new view.  A new cube.  New neighbors.  A new space.

But a change at work is not the only change going on in my life right now.  I have also changed my relationship status.  I am not going to talk about the break up on the blog.  I just want to mention it in passing.  Yes, it was a hard decision.  It was one that I did not take likely.  But I also want to stress that it was my decision.  I chose to change.  I chose to move on.  I chose to walk away.  It was my choice.

Part of learning how to love again, is figuring out what love really is and what it means.   Love is complicated at times.  And sometimes love just needs to be let go of.  Sometimes love come block the view.  Sometimes love isn't really there.  

So as my life changes... I leave you with this.......

Groups of people at my company is reading the book Switch.  I haven't read it yet, but this week I received the following email about an idea that is discussed in the book.  I thought it may help provide some insight to all of you as well. A member of our staff wrote the following...

Every January 1st we say the same thing—this is the year that I….  This is the year that I get in shape; this is the year that I turn off the TV and read more books; this is the year that I master the banjo….

Yet April 5th rolls around, and there you are, just like last year, sitting on the couch watching “Dancing with the Stars” with a slice of pizza in one hand and no banjo in the other.

If you want to change, then why is it so difficult to actually make a change in your life?  Quite often its because you simply don’t know what to change.

“Switch” guides us to “Find the Bright Spots.”  Instead of focusing on what doesn’t work, look to what has been successful in the past—the bright spots—and focus on what caused that success.

In 1990, Jerry Sternin was given 6 months to fight child malnutrition in rural Vietnam.  Sternin and his organization, Save the Children, had minimal staff and meager resources—and he didn’t even speak Vietnamese.  There were a lot of factors affecting child malnutrition that he couldn’t change, such as poor sanitation, poverty, and ignorance as to health and nutrition.  All “TBU”—true, but useless.  Yet his data showed that despite these shared hardships, some children were bigger and healthier than other children.  When he and his staff visited these families, he found that the better nourished children were eating different food than the others; instead of simply eating rice, which was commonly considered appropriate for children, these children’s parents were mixing tiny shrimp, crabs, and greens into the meals, giving their childrenmuch needed vitamins.  Sternin used this information to work with local mothers to change what and how their children ate.  After his 6 months in Vietnam, 65% of children in the villages he worked with were better nourished.  Even after Sternin left, the change spread, and eventually reached over 2 million children in Vietnam.  

Sternin didn’t need to fight the huge problems of poverty thought to be the root causes of malnourishment.  He only needed to find a few bright spots, and leverage that knowledge to make a profound change.

The same holds true for us when we want to make a change in our own lives.  We need to find concrete, manageable changes that are effective instead of trying to tackle a big TBUproblem.  

So what do you want to change?  Choose a change in your life—personally, professionally, or in your community, and look at the successes you’ve had in the past, even the small ones.  If you want to get fit, what has worked for you in the past? What made the difference? If what you find is TBU (I was really fit when I played football in high school) then keep looking (I was really fit then because I exercised with others who motivated me).  

When you find the bright spots that you think you can replicate, you can write a script for your brain to follow to point you toward your desired change.   

So I am changing.  I am looking for a bright spot.  I am starting over.  I am changing.  

April --- Really?!?

Wow, it's already April.  Seems like just yesterday that I was writing about the start of the month of March.   As I look back over my posts for the month, I realized that I didn't write a lot.  I think it had something to do with my lack of free time.  Or too much basketball.  You pick!

I can't really remember what all I did but the month just flew by.  I guess I was having fun.

I did a little partying....gotta love a good bachelorette party...went to the zoo....watch some basketball (well okay... A LOT of basketball).....took a business trip to Denver, Colorado.....did some volunteering....did a little shopping (time to get new clothes for the season).... so I guess it was a busy month.

So now comes the start of April.  A new month, a busy calendar with  ----- a big day for two dear friends,  (I am wearing this really great pink dress that I look hot in - pictures will come, I promise),  Easter, birthdays and hopefully more great weather.

I know that the saying is April showers bring May flowers.... but I really hope that all of the rain and storms that we had in March will calm down and April will be much more enjoyable.   At least the peak of pollen season seems to have occurred.

I hosed down all of the outdoor furniture on Sunday so now I can enjoy my outdoor sectional again.  I am actually lounging on it right now.

So here's to a new month.  Here's to new memories.  Here's to more fun.  And here's to continuing to learn how to live, laugh and love again.      

Wordless Wednesday

Stuck at an Airport.....

Some things that I learned or thought about why sitting at the airport for several hours due to a flight delay.

1.  That having 5 kids may sound like a great idea, but one day you have to put them all through college.
2.  That some people don't care what they look like when traveling
3.  That people can be so rude...like taking up more than one chair just because they want too.
4.  That airport chairs are not one size fits all.
5.  Why don't airports have more power outlets?
6.  What's with having to pay for wi-fi in Chicago.... Denver was free.
7.  That some people are really nosy.
8.  Why do people think that they have to talk so loud on their cell phones?   Plus, I don't want to hear the other end of the conversation too.
9.  One down side of traveling alone.   When you have to get up to pee, you have to take everything with you and then you loose your chair.  
10.  Maybe I should have brought the Kindle too.   Getting really tired of reading the book that I brought. But I am almost done with it now.
11.  That patience really is a virtue.

So a 30 minute lay over, turned into a 4 hour one.  But at least I had lots of people to watch, a good book to read, and work emails to respond to.    And I did finally make it home last night.    I was welcomed home by three boys that love me,  a wonderful meal and a glass of wine (well more then that, due to the Tarheels going into overtime).   So until the next time I have to travel for work.   I am just glad that I don't have to do it all of the time.