Change

So why is change so hard?   Is it because we get into a routine?  Get comfortable?  Is it scary?  Is it a leap of faith? Is it full of doubt? Maybe worry? Too much uncertainity?

Who knows.  Maybe it's some of these reasons, maybe it is all of them.  But one thing I know that there are times when change is needed.   It can be a change in attitude, a change of behavior, a change in mindset, a physical change or even a change in relationships.

But one thing that I have learned this week is that change is hard.  It is hard to break the status quo.  It is hard to break the routine.  It is hard to say good bye.

We have been working on changes at work.  Our office is moving into a brand new space.  It is in the same building but the space has been renovated just for us.   Some people are excited.  Some are nervous. Some could care less.  All I know that I am ready for a new view.  A new cube.  New neighbors.  A new space.

But a change at work is not the only change going on in my life right now.  I have also changed my relationship status.  I am not going to talk about the break up on the blog.  I just want to mention it in passing.  Yes, it was a hard decision.  It was one that I did not take likely.  But I also want to stress that it was my decision.  I chose to change.  I chose to move on.  I chose to walk away.  It was my choice.

Part of learning how to love again, is figuring out what love really is and what it means.   Love is complicated at times.  And sometimes love just needs to be let go of.  Sometimes love come block the view.  Sometimes love isn't really there.  

So as my life changes... I leave you with this.......

Groups of people at my company is reading the book Switch.  I haven't read it yet, but this week I received the following email about an idea that is discussed in the book.  I thought it may help provide some insight to all of you as well. A member of our staff wrote the following...

Every January 1st we say the same thing—this is the year that I….  This is the year that I get in shape; this is the year that I turn off the TV and read more books; this is the year that I master the banjo….

Yet April 5th rolls around, and there you are, just like last year, sitting on the couch watching “Dancing with the Stars” with a slice of pizza in one hand and no banjo in the other.

If you want to change, then why is it so difficult to actually make a change in your life?  Quite often its because you simply don’t know what to change.

“Switch” guides us to “Find the Bright Spots.”  Instead of focusing on what doesn’t work, look to what has been successful in the past—the bright spots—and focus on what caused that success.

In 1990, Jerry Sternin was given 6 months to fight child malnutrition in rural Vietnam.  Sternin and his organization, Save the Children, had minimal staff and meager resources—and he didn’t even speak Vietnamese.  There were a lot of factors affecting child malnutrition that he couldn’t change, such as poor sanitation, poverty, and ignorance as to health and nutrition.  All “TBU”—true, but useless.  Yet his data showed that despite these shared hardships, some children were bigger and healthier than other children.  When he and his staff visited these families, he found that the better nourished children were eating different food than the others; instead of simply eating rice, which was commonly considered appropriate for children, these children’s parents were mixing tiny shrimp, crabs, and greens into the meals, giving their childrenmuch needed vitamins.  Sternin used this information to work with local mothers to change what and how their children ate.  After his 6 months in Vietnam, 65% of children in the villages he worked with were better nourished.  Even after Sternin left, the change spread, and eventually reached over 2 million children in Vietnam.  

Sternin didn’t need to fight the huge problems of poverty thought to be the root causes of malnourishment.  He only needed to find a few bright spots, and leverage that knowledge to make a profound change.

The same holds true for us when we want to make a change in our own lives.  We need to find concrete, manageable changes that are effective instead of trying to tackle a big TBUproblem.  

So what do you want to change?  Choose a change in your life—personally, professionally, or in your community, and look at the successes you’ve had in the past, even the small ones.  If you want to get fit, what has worked for you in the past? What made the difference? If what you find is TBU (I was really fit when I played football in high school) then keep looking (I was really fit then because I exercised with others who motivated me).  

When you find the bright spots that you think you can replicate, you can write a script for your brain to follow to point you toward your desired change.   

So I am changing.  I am looking for a bright spot.  I am starting over.  I am changing.