Happy Mother's Day to My Mommy

15 years ago (wow, it really has been that long), I walked across the football field at Kenan Stadium and graduated from the University North Carolina at Chapel Hill.  It was bright, sunny and beautiful day. 

I remember it, like it was yesterday.   Your college graduation is something that you just don’t forget.   It is a symbol of four years of hard work, dedication, and countless hours of studying, paper writing and research.  I promise I had fun in college too, probably a little too much fun at times, but we won’t talk about those moments.  That’s not what this post is about.  

This post is about what else that day was about.   That day was a special day not just for me but for my mom.  Because not only was it graduation day, it was Mother’s Day.   My mommy told me that it was the best Mother’s Day present that I could ever give her.  I gave her the gift of her daughter being a college graduate.   She told me that it brought tremendous joy to watch me graduate from college that Sunday in May. 

Now I didn’t get to walk across the stage, that just doesn’t happen when you graduate from a large university. But I did walk across the field with my friends and I turned my tassel and celebrated.    I did get to walk across the stage at my departmental ceremony the afternoon before, so don’t worry, I still got “stage time”.    

I spent the weekend celebrating not only with my friends but also with my family.   There were lots of pictures taken.....

Jake, you could have smiled.  

but this one is my favorite.......

I know that my mom was very proud of me on that day and I am sure that she is just as proud of me today. 

The past year has been a journey and a lot of the “firsts without” have come and gone, but that doesn’t make it any easier.   A lot has happened these last few months and in particular this past week (I promise I will fill everyone in soon)  and I have wanted more than anything to talk to my mommy about it.  But I haven’t been able to do that.

I have tried not to focus on the fact that I feel that my mommy is missing out on what is probably the most exciting part of my life.  But, I will admit that it has made me really miss her.  A lot.     

Instead I have tried to focus on the fact that I know that she is still really proud of me.  Not only because what I accomplished 15 years ago, but what I have accomplished since that day.   More importantly what I have accomplished these past 4 years as I have started my life over again as a single women.  It has been an adventure.  One that has been full of ups and downs.   Lots of ups and downs.  And lots of lightness and darkness.  But I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Well actually, the end of the tunnel is here.  In fact, I am standing in the bright sun light and have the biggest smile on my face. 

And I know that my mommy is looking down at me and smiling right back. 

Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy.  I love and miss you greatly.