Once again, I found myself the other day thinking that I needed to get you a card to send for your birthday and then I remembered that I didn't need to. And yes that made me sad. But this year it's a different kind of sad.
I am sad that I don't get to call and sing you Happy Birthday or better yet buy you a cake and sing to you in person. And yes, I said buy. You know, I can't cook. Well, I am not a bad baker, I seem to have no problem making sweets. But a cake made by me would not look as pretty as one that I could buy. But I am thankful that I can at least bake. Maybe it's that sweet tooth that I have always had. I blame you for that one. But that's okay. We both have a deep love for anything chocolate or sweet for that matter.
But I am also sad because there is so much going on in my life right now. I am sad because I can't pick up the phone and tell you all about how I have fallen in love and that there's this really great guy who has fallen in love with me too.
I am sad because earlier this week when I introduced B to Daddy, I so wanted you to be at the table too.
But then I think back and remember that you have met B. You met him back in 2010. It was you that convinced me to look at one more apartment complex.
It was you that encouraged me to take a tour, even though I thought the apartment was out of my price range. And that tour was led by this tall and handsome guy named B. It was you that kept telling me that B was flirting with me. It was you that encouraged me to sign the lease once B told me about this great deal that made this apartment cheaper then the one I thought I was going to rent. And it was you that would send me packages so that I would have to go to the apartment office to pick them up. It was you that encouraged me to go to the social events that the complex held, and of course B was always at them. And it was you that I called when he finally got up the nerve to ask me out for the first time.
And then it was you that gave me a brand new set of pots and pans that year at Christmas so that B could cook for me. Because you knew that I could not cook so I needed a someone in my life that could cook for me.
And B is so thankful that you did. He is thoroughly enjoying using them to cook for me again. Yep he is cooking for me again. He made me french toast yesterday for breakfast. And it was yummy. So yep that means that B is here (for good- no more long distance relationship).
I totally know now what you have known for years now. I think you knew what would happen one day and that I just needed to be patient. You knew how much I liked him, you knew how much I would talk about him. You knew that he had captured my heart. I just had to wait for him to let me capture his heart.
So today on your birthday I want to tell you thank you. Even though you aren't here for me to celebrate with, I have someone at my side to help me remember you and celebrate your memory. And I have you to be thankful for for that. It all started with a tour of an apartment complex when I was just starting this journey of learning how to live, laugh and love all over again.
So as I sit outside this morning, drinking my mocha, a mocha by the way that this really cute guy went and got me this morning, I have tears in my eyes, but joy and love in my heart.
Happy Birthday Mommy.
I love and miss you.
G's
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