Emotional Ups and Downs

So this past week was one of those weeks when my emotions were up and down all week long. I can't really put my finger on any one thing that triggered it all. I think it was a combination of reality checks, turning points and new experiences. However, I allowed myself to work through it all but I know that I still have a long road ahead of me.

I have been using other things in my life to help distract me and I will continue to do that when needed. But I know that there are and will be times that I need to just let the emotions take over me.

It is all a part of the grieving process and really learning how to start all over again. I know that the emotions and thoughts that I am having are perfectly normal and that with time I will continue to heal and transform into the person that I want to be.

As I continue to move forward I have a few things that I want to share with everyone.

I know that my faith and trust in God is one of the many factors that have helped me get through this difficult time in my life. However, I know that it is not only my hope but the prayers of my loved ones that have helped as well. I know that I still need God's help and I have several aspects of my life that come to mind that still need to be worked out.

First, I need continued healing of my heart over the loss of Jason. I am still grieving him. We have wrapped up all of the proceedings and paperwork that were needed for the divorce, house, taxes, vehicles etc. So there is no need for me to communicate ever with him again. I need the strength to let him go and not allow him or have the desire for him to be a part of my life anymore. (This is a decision that I have made with my therapist- at least for the short term I don't need to have any contact with Jason- it is for the best)

2. I need guidance on how to allow myself to be open to new relationships and new types of relationships with guys. I need to understand that just because a guy takes notice and cares, doesn’t mean that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

3. I need patience while I wait to see what God has in store for me.

4. I need strength to allow myself to have fun, a desire try new things, ability and desire to meet new people and take one day at a time.

Please join me in seeking out God's will in my new life as well as the lives of those around me. Together, I know that God will help me learn how to live, laugh and love again.