Second Reality Check

Over the weekend I finally received the signed certified copies of the Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage. I picked up the envelope on Saturday from the mail box, but just opened it a few minutes ago. I knew what it contained, the dead give away from the return address. But for some reason, just opened it.

As I sit here and look at the pile on my lap....it makes me think back about what has all happened up to this point.

Over 9 years ago there was so my preparation that went into the start of what was just over 7 years of marriage. There were showers, dinners, a ceremony, a reception, pictures, flowers, pretty dresses, a band, dancing, a party and gifts.

But at the end, all that I had to do was open a white envelope that contained 3 copies of the same document while sitting in my pjs in my apartment and read. No ceremony, no conversation, no exchange of words, actually no human interaction at all.

Now, that's not to say that there wasn't plenty of "drama" or preparation that led up to the document actually being able to sit on my lap. There was yelling, screaming, crying, attorneys, packing, moving, etc...... But to actually signal the legal end, there is nothing but quiet.

Okay, so maybe a glass of wine to go along with the opening, but no party, no dancing, no pretty dress.

So, hence the reality check. But what is odd, there aren't any tears. I thought for sure when I started to open the envelope and read the document that I would start to cry. But I didn't. I just sat and pondered what it meant. And to be truthful the 2 pages mean closure and bring a huge wave of relief. The whole process is now over. I am legally divorced and now the written proof. I have cried a lot these last few months, but for the first time during this whole process, I have no desire to cry. I just want to move on.

I will need the document(s) to start the fun process of changing my name. First stop will be the social security office, then DMV, then the DMV tag office, the the bank, and then the State Department to change my passport and so on and so on. Luckily some of those stops can be down through the mail, hence needing multiple copies of the same document.

But as I sit at my desk and sip a glass a wine all I can do is breathe and I can more importantly, start to learn, laugh and love all over again.